[ti:Crazy Rap]
[ar:Afroman]
[al:]

[00:00.45](Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right?
[00:03.61]Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right?
[00:06.12]He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
[00:08.71]Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?
[00:11.87]He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said,
[00:15.29]Woooooo, good morning, ladies.
[00:20.55]You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man.
[00:24.28]I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums, 
[00:29.26]everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes.
[00:32.72]But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
[00:37.57]Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
[00:42.24]We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. 
[00:47.07]And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
[00:51.89]Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
[00:56.46]So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems. 
[01:01.53]Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
[01:06.28]So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
[01:11.12]If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.
[01:15.39]
[01:16.02]Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
[01:20.64]When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
[01:25.70]Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
[01:30.60]I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
[01:35.44]We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo', fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro.
[01:40.21]Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white.
[01:45.11]I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin' like a ZEBRA!
[01:50.02]I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
[01:54.62]I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4.
[01:59.36]Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
[02:04.30]But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn pussy I ever had.
[02:09.17]I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time.
[02:13.56]
[02:14.06]Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
[02:18.71]We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. 
[02:23.55]And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
[02:28.38]Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
[02:33.14]So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems. 
[02:37.96]Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
[02:42.78]So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
[02:47.88]If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.
[02:51.92]
[02:52.72]I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
[02:57.51]I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine.
[03:02.33]I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African. 
[03:07.13]I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice.
[03:11.96]Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
[03:17.05]Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.
[03:21.56]See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee!
[03:26.52]Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
[03:31.19]Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me.
[03:36.06]I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.
[03:40.59]
[03:40.87]Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
[03:46.14]We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. 
[03:50.37]And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
[03:55.12]Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
[03:59.77]I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy.
[04:04.98]That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that ass and said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
[04:09.97]Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma.
[04:14.69]Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again.
[04:19.41]Met a real black girl in South Carolina; fucked her 'til she turned into a white albino.
[04:24.36]Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked her on credit, so I owe her.
[04:29.12]Fucked this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya.
[04:34.08]Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico.
[04:38.77]Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla.
[04:43.60]I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported.
[04:48.17]
[04:48.51]Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
[04:53.10]We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. 
[04:57.86]And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
[05:02.78]Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
[05:07.17]So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems. 
[05:12.40]Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
[05:17.20]So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
[05:22.18]If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.