[ti:Everyone's A Little Bit Racist]
[ar:Avenue Q]
[al:Avenue Q 2003 Original Cast]

[00:01.06]Everyone's A Little Bit Racist Lyrics
[00:01.37]Princeton: Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?
[00:02.23]Kate Monster: Sure!
[00:02.92]
[00:03.21]Princeton: Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?
[00:04.51]Kate Monster: Uh huh.
[00:05.58]Princeton: Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.
[00:07.81]Kate Monster:Right.
[00:08.75]Princeton: You're both Monsters.
[00:09.71]Kate Monster: Yeah.
[00:10.60]Princeton: Are you two related?
[00:11.83]Kate Monster:What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!
[00:17.00]Princeton:Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!
[00:19.16]Kate Monster:Well, it's a touchy subject.
[00:21.35]No, not all Monsters are related.
[00:24.00]What are you trying say, huh?
[00:25.65]That we all look the same to you?
[00:27.51]Huh, huh, huh?
[00:28.27]Princeton:No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,
[00:31.63]I guess that was a little racist.
[00:33.15]
[00:33.66]Kate Monster: I should say so. You should be much more
[00:36.35]careful when you're talking about the
[00:37.81]sensitive subject of race.
[00:40.09]Princeton: Well, look who's talking!
[00:42.01]Kate Monster: What do you mean?
[00:43.39]Princeton:What about that special Monster School you told me about?
[00:45.84]
[00:46.11]Kate Monster:What about it?
[00:46.30]
[00:47.03]Princeton:Could someone like me go there?
[00:48.25]
[00:48.74]Kate Monster:No, we don't want people like you-
[00:50.34]
[00:50.90]Princeton:You see?!
[00:52.33]You're a little bit racist.
[00:54.33]
[00:54.94]Kate Monster:Well, you're a little bit too.
[00:56.91]
[00:57.42]Princeton: I guess we're both a little bit racist.
[00:59.66]
[01:00.18]Kate Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...
[01:02.58]
[01:02.81]Princeton: But I guess it's true.
[01:03.68]
[01:04.11]Kate Monster: Between me and you,
[01:05.13]I think
[01:05.71]
[01:06.08]Both: Everyone's a little bit racist
[01:08.01]Sometimes.
[01:10.92]Doesn't mean we go
[01:11.96]Around committing hate crimes.
[01:16.26]Look around and you will find
[01:19.06]No one's really color blind.
[01:21.63]Maybe it's a fact
[01:23.59]We all should face
[01:26.95]Everyone makes judgments
[01:29.38]Based on race.
[01:31.25]
[01:31.75]Princeton: Now not big judgments, like who to hire
[01:33.67]or who to buy a newspaper from -
[01:35.05]
[01:35.42]Kate Monster: No!
[01:36.04]
[01:36.41]Princeton: No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
[01:38.29]busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
[01:40.20]
[01:40.85]Kate Monster: Right!
[01:41.29]
[01:41.67]Both:Everyone's a little bit racist
[01:43.37]Today.
[01:46.49]So, everyone's a little bit racist
[01:49.05]Okay!
[01:51.92]Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
[01:54.36]But you laugh because
[01:55.70]They're based on truth.
[01:57.33]Don't take them as
[01:58.65]Personal attacks.
[02:02.49]Everyone enjoys them -
[02:05.78]So relax!
[02:06.89]
[02:07.38]Princeton:All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
[02:08.87]Kate Monster:Okay!
[02:09.18]Princeton: There's a plan going down and there's only
[02:11.29]one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...
[02:13.84]Kate Monster: And a black guy!
[02:14.83]
[02:15.52]Gary Coleman: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?
[02:16.77]Kate Monster: Uh...
[02:17.53]
[02:18.05]Gary Coleman: You were telling a black joke!
[02:19.40]
[02:19.88]Princeton:Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.
[02:22.25]Gary Coleman: I don't.
[02:23.25]Princeton: Well, of course you don't - you're black!
[02:25.08]But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?
[02:26.87]
[02:27.20]Gary Coleman: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!
[02:29.89]
[02:30.44]Princeton: Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
[02:33.19]
[02:34.51]Gary Coleman: Well, damn, I guess you're right.
[02:36.56]
[02:37.17]Kate Monster: You're a little bit racist.
[02:39.16]
[02:39.80]Gary Coleman: Well, you're a little bit too.
[02:41.57]
[02:42.32]Princeton: We're all a little bit racist.
[02:44.35]
[02:45.13]Gary Coleman: I think that I would
[02:45.90]Have to agree with you.
[02:47.19]
[02:47.72]Princeton/Kate Monster: We're glad you do.
[02:48.58]
[02:49.39]Gary Coleman: It's sad but true!
[02:50.60]Everyone's a little bit racist -
[02:52.53]
[02:53.11]All right!
[02:53.75]
[02:54.20]Kate Monster: All right!
[02:54.62]
[02:55.14]Princeton: All right!
[02:55.68]
[02:56.09]Gary Coleman: All right!
[02:57.42]Bigotry has never been
[02:57.79]Exclusively white
[03:01.44]
[03:01.66]All: If we all could just admit
[03:03.97]That we are racist a little bit,
[03:06.86]Even though we all know
[03:08.60]That it's wrong,
[03:11.99]Maybe it would help us
[03:15.32]Get along.
[03:16.39]
[03:16.71]Princeton: Oh, Christ do I feel good.
[03:18.16]
[03:18.45]Gary Coleman: Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
[03:21.20]
[03:21.74]Princeton: Who?
[03:23.19]Gary Coleman: Jesus Christ.
[03:24.73]Kate Monster: But, Gary, Jesus was white.
[03:26.71]Gary Coleman: No, Jesus was black.
[03:28.39]Kate Monster: No, Jesus was white.
[03:29.06]
[03:29.62]Gary Coleman: No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-
[03:31.54]Princeton: Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!
[03:34.65]
[03:39.22]Brian: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
[03:40.86]Gary Coleman: Racism!
[03:41.73]Brian: Cool.
[03:43.16]Christmas Eve: BRIAN! Come back here!
[03:44.62]You take out lecycuraburs!
[03:46.54]Princeton: What's that mean?
[03:48.20]Brian: Um, recyclables.
[03:50.51]Hey, don't laugh at her!
[03:52.21]How many languages do you speak?
[03:53.77]
[03:54.56]Kate Monster: Oh, come off it, Brian!
[03:57.14]Everyone's a little bit racist.
[03:59.65]Brian: I'm not!
[04:00.59]Princeton: Oh no?
[04:01.33]Brian:Nope!
[04:02.29]How many Oriental wives
[04:04.72]Have you got?
[04:06.28]Christmas Eve: What? Brian!
[04:08.05]Princeton: Brian, buddy, where you been?
[04:10.23]The term is Asian-American!
[04:13.02]Christmas Eve: I know you are no
[04:15.15]Intending to be
[04:18.26]But calling me Oriental -
[04:21.69]Offensive to me!
[04:23.20]
[04:23.53]Brian: I'm sorry, honey, I love you.
[04:25.70]Christmas Eve: And I love you.
[04:28.16]
[04:28.51]Brian: But you're racist, too.
[04:29.95]
[04:30.54]Christmas Eve: Yes, I know.
[04:32.81]The Jews have all
[04:33.93]The money
[04:35.21]And the whites have all
[04:36.56]The power.
[04:38.13]And I'm always in taxi-cab
[04:40.57]With driver who no shower!
[04:42.40]
[04:43.31]Princeton: Me too!
[04:44.08]Kate Monster:Me too!
[04:44.93]Gary Coleman: I can't even get a taxi!
[04:46.89]All: Everyone's a little bit racist
[04:49.72]It's true.
[04:53.25]But everyone is just about
[04:55.22]As racist as you!
[05:00.61]If we all could just admit
[05:04.05]That we are racist a little bit,
[05:07.74]And everyone stopped being
[05:09.53]So PC
[05:11.96]Maybe we could live in -
[05:17.78]Harmony!
[05:20.05]
[05:20.77]Christmas Eve: Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!