[ti:amish paradise] [ar:weird al yankovitch] [al:] [offset:500] [00:11]As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain [00:14]I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain [00:17]But that's just perfect for an Amish like me [00:20]You know, I shun fancy things like electricity [00:23]At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows [00:26]Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool [00:29]And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that [00:32]Even Ezekiel things that my mind is gone [00:35]I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline [00:38]Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin [00:41]But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine [00:44]Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 [00:47]We've been spending most our lives [00:50]Living in an Amish paradise [00:53]I've churned butter once or twice [00:55]Living in an Amish paradise [00:59]It's hard work and sacrifice [01:01]Living in an Amish paradise [01:05]We sell quilts at discount price [01:07]Living in an Amish paradise [01:10]A local boy kicked me in the butt last week [01:13]I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek [01:16]I really don't care, in fact I wish him well [01:19]'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell [01:22]But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it [01:25]An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of [01:28]I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat [01:31]And my homeys agree I really look good in black... fool [01:33]If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears [01:36]We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years [01:39]But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare [01:42]We're just technologically impaired [01:45]There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar [01:48]Not a single luxury [01:51]Like Robinson Caruso [01:54]It's as primitive as can be [01:58]We've been spending most our lives [02:00]Living in an Amish paradise [02:03]We're just plain and simple guys [02:05]Living in an Amish paradise [02:09]There's no time for sin and vice [02:11]Living in an Amish paradise [02:15]We don't fight, we all play nice [02:17]Living in an Amish Paradise [02:21]Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter [02:23]Raise a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter [02:26]Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? [02:29]Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art [02:32]I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like [02:35]On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife [02:39]So don't be vain and don't be whiny [02:41]Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie [02:44]We've been spending most our lives [02:46]Living in an Amish paradise [02:50]We're all crazy Mennonites [02:52]Living in an Amish paradise [02:55]There's no cops or traffic lights [02:58]Living in an Amish paradise [03:01]But you'd probably think it bites [03:04]Living in an Amish paradise [03:07]Ah oh oh oh, oh oh oh. [03:13]Ah oh oh oh, oh oh YECCH!