[ti:Trapped In The Drive-Thru]
[ar:Yankovic]
[al:Straight Outta Lynwood]

[00:00.83]
[00:07.07]Album:Straight Outta Lynwood
[00:09.65]Yankovic-Trapped In The Drive-Thru
[00:12.53]
[00:21.91]Seven O@Clock in the evening
[00:23.45]Watchin somethin@ stupid on TV
[00:25.09]I@m zoned out on the sofa
[00:27.38]When my wife comes in the room and sees me
[00:30.26]
[00:30.47]She says "Is this @Behind the Music@
[00:33.55]With Lynard Skynard?"
[00:34.90]And I say "I don@t know.
[00:36.49]Say, it@s gettin@ late...watcha wanna do for dinner?
[00:40.06]
[00:40.52]She says "I kinda had a big lunch.
[00:41.62]So I@m not super hungry."
[00:44.56]I said "Well you know, baby, I@m not starvin@ either
[00:46.73]But I could eat."
[00:47.72]
[00:48.08]She said "So whadya have in mind?"
[00:49.85]I said "I don@t know what about you?"
[00:52.19]She said "I don@t care, if you@re hungry, let@s eat."
[00:54.89]I said "That@s what we@re gonna do!"
[00:56.36]
[00:56.75]"But first you gotta tell me
[00:58.41]What it is you@re hungry for!"
[01:00.57]And she says "Let me think...
[01:02.89]...What@s left in our refridgerator?"
[01:04.93]
[01:05.80]I said "Well, there@s tuna, I know."
[01:07.66]She said "That went bad a week ago!"
[01:09.94]I said "Is the chili OK?"
[01:12.04]She said "You finished that yesterday!"
[01:14.26]
[01:14.77]I hopped up and I said
[01:16.42]"I don@t know, do you want to get something delivered?"
[01:18.73]She@s like "Why would I want to eat liver?
[01:21.64]I don@t even like liver!"
[01:23.53]
[01:23.86]I@m like "No, I said @delivered@."
[01:26.23]She@s like "I heard you say liver!"
[01:27.91]I@m like "I should know what I said..."
[01:29.89]She@s like "Whatever, I just don@t want any liver!"
[01:32.09]
[01:32.53]Well I was gonna say something
[01:34.39]But my cell phone started to ring
[01:36.61]Now who could be callin@ me?
[01:38.60]Well I checked my caller ID
[01:40.73]
[01:41.15]It was just cousin Larry
[01:42.94]Callin@ for the third time today...
[01:44.83]My wife said "Let it go to voicemail."
[01:47.92]I said, "OK."
[01:49.46]
[01:50.21]"Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
[01:52.27]So what d@ya want to do?"
[01:53.96]She said "Why don@t you whip up somethin in the kitchen?"
[01:56.44]"Yeah," I said, "Why don@t you?"
[01:58.54]
[01:59.03]And then she said "Baby, can@t we just go out to dinner, please?"
[02:02.87]I says "No"
[02:03.71]She says "Yes"
[02:04.13]I says "No"
[02:04.60]She says "Yes"
[02:05.12]I says "No"
[02:05.62]She says "Yes...
[02:06.35]...Oh, here@s your keys"
[02:08.00]
[02:08.21]I step a little bit closer
[02:09.95]Say "OK, where ya want to go?"
[02:11.86]She says "How about The Ivy?"
[02:14.15]I said "Yeah, well I don@t know..."
[02:16.25]
[02:16.70]I don@t feel like gettin all dressed up
[02:19.19]And eatin@ expensive food
[02:20.96]She@s says "Olive Garden?"
[02:23.05]I say "Nah, I@m not in the mood...
[02:25.13]
[02:25.52]...And Burrito King would make me gassy
[02:28.22]There@s no doubt"
[02:29.57]She says "Just forget about it"
[02:31.81]I said "No, I swear I@m gonna take you out!"
[02:33.95]
[02:34.55]Then I get an idea
[02:36.65]I says "I know what we@ll do!"
[02:38.75]She says "What?"
[02:39.50]I say "Guess"
[02:39.74]She says "What?"
[02:40.22]I say "We@re goin@ to the drive-thru!"
[02:42.98]
[02:43.49]So we head out the front door
[02:45.11]Open the garage door
[02:47.55]Then I open the car doors
[02:49.97]And we get in those car doors
[02:51.86]
[02:52.31]Put my key in the ignition
[02:53.99]And then I turn it sideways
[02:56.21]Then we fasten our seat belts
[02:58.40]As we pull out the driveway
[03:00.81]
[03:01.17]Then we drive to the drive-thru
[03:02.91]Heading off to the drive-thru
[03:05.13]We@re approaching the drive-thru
[03:07.32]Getting close to the drive-thru!
[03:09.42]
[03:09.81]Almost there at the drive-thru
[03:11.70]Now we@re here at the drive thru
[03:13.83]Here in line at the drive-thru
[03:16.08]Did I mention the drive-thru?
[03:18.39]
[03:27.67]Well here we are
[03:29.19]In the drive-thru line, me and her.
[03:31.71]Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
[03:34.68]All just waiting to order
[03:36.04]
[03:36.45]There@s some idiot in a Volvo
[03:38.19]With his brights on behind me
[03:40.39]I lean out the window and scream
[03:42.45]"Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?"
[03:45.16]
[03:45.54]My wife says "Maybe we should park...
[03:47.56]...We could just go eat inside."
[03:49.66]I said "I@m wearin@ bunny slippers
[03:51.91]So I ain@t leavin@ this ride..."
[03:54.13]
[03:54.39]Now a woman on a speaker box
[03:56.52]Is sayin@ "Can I take your order, please?"
[03:58.59]I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can
[04:00.51]We@d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese."
[04:02.82]
[04:03.10]Then my wife says
[04:04.62]"Baby, hold on, I@ve changed my mind!
[04:07.26]I think I@m gonna have a chicken sandwich
[04:10.17]Instead, this time"
[04:11.47]
[04:12.09]I said "You always get a cheeseburger!"
[04:13.80]She says "That@s not what I@m hungry for."
[04:16.11]I put my head in my hands and screamed,
[04:18.33]"I don@t know who you are anymore!"
[04:20.65]
[04:21.12]The voice on the speaker says
[04:22.84]"I don@t have all day!"
[04:25.12]I said "Then, take our order,
[04:26.94]And we@ll be on our way!
[04:29.56]
[04:29.95]I wanna get a chicken sandwich
[04:31.99]And I want a cheeseburger, too
[04:34.09]She@s like "You want onions on that?"
[04:36.22]I@m like "Yeah, I already said that I do...
[04:38.29]
[04:38.65]...Plus we need curly fries
[04:40.62]And don@t you dare forget it!
[04:43.14]And two medium root beers
[04:45.49]No, just one, we@ll split it."
[04:47.65]
[04:48.00]Then I said "I@m guessin@ that
[04:49.69]You@re probably not too bright...
[04:52.03]So read me back my order
[04:54.16]Let@s make sure you got it right."
[04:56.02]
[04:56.25]She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich.
[04:58.51]Two, you want a cheeseburger
[05:00.54]Three, curly fries, and a large root beer"
[05:03.72]"Stop, don@t go no further!"
[05:05.20]
[05:05.49]"I never ordered a large rootbeer
[05:07.36]I said medium, not large!"
[05:09.16]Then she says "We@re havin@ a special,
[05:11.83]I supersized you at no charge."
[05:13.87]
[05:14.17]"Oh." And that@s all
[05:16.91]I could say, was "Oh."
[05:18.11]And she says "Now there is somethin@ else
[05:20.24]That I really think you should know.
[05:22.43]
[05:22.94]You can have unlimited refills
[05:24.86]For just a quarter more..."
[05:26.78]I say "Great, except we@re in the drive thru...
[05:29.36]So what would I want that for?"
[05:31.19]
[05:31.61]Then she says "Wait a minute
[05:33.62]Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul?
[05:36.77]And my wife is all like "No, that ain@t Paul,
[05:39.41]Now tell me, who@s this Paul?
[05:41.25]
[05:41.75]She says "Oh, he@s just some guy
[05:43.58]Who goes to school with me.
[05:45.68]I sat behind him last year
[05:47.81]And I copied off him in Geometry.
[05:50.93]I said "I know a guy named Paul.
[05:52.59]He used to be my plumber
[05:54.72]He was prematurely bald
[05:56.94]And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer.
[05:59.07]
[05:59.22]He also had bladder problems
[06:01.35]And a really bad infection on his toe."
[06:03.24]And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there,
[06:06.01]That@s way more than I needed to know!"
[06:07.86]
[06:08.14]And then we both were quiet
[06:10.24]And things got real intense
[06:12.46]Then she says "Next window please,
[06:14.47]That@ll be five dollars and eighty two cents."
[06:16.81]
[06:17.01]So we inched ahead in line
[06:19.00]Movin@ painfully slow
[06:20.98]I got a little bored
[06:23.11]So I turned on the radio...
[06:24.91]
[06:25.34][Song plays]
[06:37.91]
[06:41.79][Click] Turned it off
[06:42.93]Because my wife was getting a headache
[06:45.42]So we both just sat there quietly
[06:49.39]For her sake.
[06:50.49]
[06:50.94]Then I looked at her
[06:52.15]And she looked back at me
[06:54.46]And I said "Um,
[06:56.46]I think you have somethin@ in your teeth."
[06:58.86]
[06:59.44]She turned away from me
[07:01.11]And then turned back and said "Did I get it?"
[07:03.63]I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it...
[07:06.87]But hey, ya know, don@t sweat it."
[07:08.67]
[07:08.94]Then she said "How about now?"
[07:11.70]I said "Yeah, almost.
[07:13.00]There@s still a little bit there
[07:15.18]But don@t worry, it@s probably just a piece of toast."
[07:17.31]
[07:17.53]Now we@re at the pay window
[07:19.00]Or whatever you call it
[07:21.21]Put my hand in my pocket
[07:23.20]I can@t believe there@s no wallet!
[07:25.42]
[07:33.19]And the lady at the window@s like,
[07:34.38]"Well, well that@ll be five eighty two."
[07:38.53]I turn around to my wife, and say
[07:41.40]"How much have you got on you?"
[07:43.47]
[07:44.16]She just rolls her eyes and says
[07:45.87]"I@ll pay for this, I guess."
[07:48.04]So she reaches into her purse
[07:49.98]And pulls out the American Express
[07:52.44]
[07:52.65]I hand it to the lady
[07:54.54]And she says "Oh, dear.
[07:56.64]It@s gotta be cash only
[07:58.89]We don@t take credit cards here."
[08:01.17]
[08:01.45]I took back the card and said
[08:03.42]"Gee, really? Well that sucks."
[08:05.47]And that@s when I found out
[08:07.80]My wife was only carryin@ three bucks.
[08:10.18]
[08:10.36]I said "I thought you were
[08:12.46]Going to hit the ATM today"
[08:15.19]She says "I never got around to it
[08:17.43]So where@s your wallet anyway?
[08:18.94]
[08:19.48]And I said "Nevermind,
[08:20.92]Just help me to find some change..."
[08:23.20]Now the lady at the window
[08:25.17]Is lookin at me kinda strange...
[08:27.46]
[08:28.17]And she says "Mister, please,
[08:30.04]We gotta move this line along"
[08:32.32]I said "Now hold your stinkin@ horses lady,
[08:35.53]We won@t be long."
[08:36.85]
[08:37.12]We looked around inside the glove-box
[08:39.07]And check the mat beneath my feet
[08:41.53]I found a nickel in the ashtray
[08:43.24]And a couple pennies and a dime in the space betweent he seats
[08:45.52]
[08:45.82]Before long I had a little pile
[08:47.80]Of coins of every sort
[08:50.17]The lady counts it up and says
[08:52.30]"You@re still about a dollar short"
[08:54.28]
[08:54.70]And now my woman@s got this weird look
[08:56.92]Frozen on her face
[08:58.54]She screams, "you know
[09:00.34]I wasn@t even really hungry in the first place"
[09:03.25]
[09:03.61]And so I turned around
[09:05.35]To the cashier again
[09:07.63]I shrugged and said "OK
[09:09.79]Forget the chicken sandwich then"
[09:12.05]
[09:12.38]So I pick up my change
[09:14.41]Pick up my reciept
[09:16.40]And I drive to the pickup window
[09:18.52]Man, I just can@t wait to eat
[09:20.68]
[09:21.20]And now we see this acne ridden
[09:23.20]Kid about sixteen
[09:25.12]Wearin@ a dorky nametag that says
[09:27.80]"Hello, my name is Eugene."
[09:29.72]
[09:30.07]And he hands me a paper bag
[09:32.23]I look him in the eyes
[09:34.36]And I say to him "Hey, Eugene,
[09:36.92]Can I get some ketchup for my fries?"
[09:38.77]
[09:38.95]Well he looks at me
[09:40.90]And I look at him
[09:43.34]And he looks at me
[09:45.25]And I look at him
[09:47.86]
[09:48.22]And he looks at me
[09:50.35]And I look at him
[09:52.43]And he says "I@m sorry
[09:54.13]What did you want again?"
[09:56.45]
[09:56.77]I say "Ketchup!"
[09:58.43]And he says "Oh yeah, that@s right...
[10:01.13]...I just spaced out there for a second
[10:03.26]I@m really kind of burnt tonight."
[10:05.27]
[10:05.66]And then he hands me the ketchup
[10:07.85]And now we@re finally drivin@ away
[10:10.32]And the food is drivin@ me mad
[10:12.73]With its intoxicating bouquet
[10:14.98]
[10:15.70]I@m starvin@ to death
[10:17.20]By the time we pull up at the traffic light
[10:19.21]I say "Baby, gimme that burger,
[10:22.07]I just gotta have a bite!"
[10:23.99]
[10:24.34]So she reaches in the bag
[10:26.20]And pulls out the burger
[10:28.49]And she hands me the burger
[10:30.35]And I pick up the burger
[10:32.33]
[10:32.63]And then I unwrap the paper
[10:35.30]I bite into those buns
[10:37.77]And I just can@t believe it
[10:39.83]They forgot the onions!
[10:44.42]